Dealing with Emotions :

Be comfortable with fear. You may think that people who are self-confident are never fearful. This simply is not true. Fear means you are at your growing edge. Perhaps your fear is speaking in front of a group, introducing yourself to someone you don't know, or asking your boss for a raise.
  • When you are able to confront what you fear, you will gain self-confidence and you will feel the boost immediately!
  • Imagine a baby as she learns to walk. So much possibility awaits her. But she is fearful that she will fall as she takes those first steps. When she conquers her fear, and begins walking, a huge smile covers her face! This is you, pushing past your fears too.
Be patient with yourself. Sometimes you go backwards to go forwards. Gaining self-confidence does not happen overnight. You might try something new and not meet your goal. If possible, see what lessons are there. Not meeting your goal the first time around is an opportunity to learn more about yourself. Self-confidence needs to be nurtured and grown, a bit at a time.
  • For example, perhaps you ask your boss for a raise, and she says no. What can you learn from this? Reflect upon how you went about it. Was there something different you might have done?
Strive for balance. Like everything else in life, building self-confidence is about maintaining balance. Too little self-confidence can keep you from achieving your goals and feeling good about yourself. On the other hand, it's important to be realistic -- you don't want to underestimate the time and effort needed to achieve your goals.

Bounce back from your mistakes. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road. And that often these insecure feelings come and go, depending on where we are, who we are with, the mood we're in, or how we are feeling. In other words, they are not constant. If you've made a mistake, the best thing you can do is to recognize it, apologize, and make a game plan for avoiding it in the future.
  • Don't let one wrong turn make you think you don't have what it takes to achieve your dreams. Maybe you weren't a great boyfriend and your last relationship ended as a result. This doesn't mean you're not capable of turning your act around and finding love in the future.


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